Gossip

Do you remember that time where you were just frustrated with somebody. You were so angry with them, trying to cool down, but as soon as you find someone you know, you just can’t hold it in, and you tell them about how horrible that ‘somebody’ is. Maybe it’s not how horrible they are but just something stupid they did, or something maybe you just found out about them, something unusual, something embarrassing, or something that you would never do, and you just cannot keep it inside. You share it. I do this a lot, I have trouble controlling what I say. I know I break the golden rule, I tell people stuff, that I would definitely not want others to say about me, but it seems beyond me, I feel like I almost cannot resist!

In my life I have had so many: "WHY couldn't I just keep my big mouth shut Moments!" I get so frustrated with myself, that I get to the point where I make this resolution: “from now on I will never ever mention anybody who is not present unless, it is just because I cannot help but to praise them!”

I have pledged this so many times, and failed each time! And just think, Oh what a Wretched man am I!

I picked this topic of Gossip, to study what scripture says about it, apart: “Don’t do it!”, because I am keen to get serious, to see how this problem can be fixed, if it can at all. I also believe scripture helps you cultivate a stronger prayer life when you pray God’s words back to him.

Bible

Proverbs 21:23
Whoever keeps his mouth and his tongue ​​​​​​​keeps himself out of trouble. ​​​

God created us, so he known us. He knit us in our mother’s womb, we are wonderfully and fearfully made! God loves us, wants us to delight in him, and live a life of Joy, that we might have life abundantly in Christ. With this goal in mind, his very Words warn us against misusing our tongue, being careful of what we say. Proverbs 21:23 warns us that if we don’t mind our tongue, we will encounter trouble.

Gossiping might seem so harmless, after all what is it more than just a few words, but the Bible tells us that it leads to much ungodliness (2 Tim 2:16), special quarrelling directly (Pro 26:20). Because of all this as men and women of God, who call Jesus our saviour, we must get our act together, and seek better discipline in our life. The problem is that our own the Bible says this is an impossible task:

James 3:8
but no human being can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison.

Going through the scriptures, we will see that gossip helps us to understand our sinful condition, it gives us some reasons why we must stop gossiping, it teaches us what to do about it, but at the end we are desperately in need of a savior to be merciful, to guide us with his Spirit to conform us to the image of his beloved son, and to forgive us our sin.

We are foolish sinners in need of a Savior

1 Corinthians 13: Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful;

Love does not Gossip, if it is not resentful. We gossip when we envy, we spread the darker side of people lives we are jealous of. We are irritated about something or someone, we speak negatively about them behind their back, we resent them. This is not love. Love humbly seeks to bless, seeks other people’s interests, it is OPC: Other Person Centeredness.

And it is not just when we are the ones spreading the rumours, the lies, the negative resentful speech. Even we are simply listening. It takes two to gossip. It takes one to delight in listening as well as the one talking. If you think about it, who would be able to gossip, and slander others, if no one stuck around to listen. An evildoer listens to wicked lips, and a liar gives ear to a mischievous tongue.(Prov 17:4).

Further than saying that if we listen do gossip we are evil doers, or that if we gossip, we do not love, the Bible calls us Foolish! Whoever utters slander is a fool! (Prov 10:18).

Reasons to Stop Gossiping

The Bible condemns Gossip. Really intense language is used referring to Gossip. The one who sows discourse among brothers in an abomination to the Lord (Prov 6:16-19). Gossip takes away all your good works, if you are not able to bridle your tongue, your religion is worthless (James 1:26). The Lord promises to destroy the one who gossips (Ps 101:5). The ten commandments tell us not to bear false witness against our neighbour (Ex 20:16), the law tells us not to slander (Lev 19:16), Jesus warned us that on the day of judgement we will have to give an account for every word that we speak (Mat 12:36) this is also found in Paul (1 Tim 5:13).  

What do you do about it?

The main thing we need to do is change our whole attitude towards people. Instead of bringing people down with gossip and slander with corruptible speech, Paul demands that the only things that be spoken be for building up, that our words might be a blessing to those who hear (Eph 4:29). We are to think about good things, rather than dwell on the bad, and complain about things for the sake of complaining (Phil 4:8). Our standards must be raised to the point that we will tolerate no gossip, Proverbs 20:19 instructs us not to associate with those who gossip.

Jesus

It is our responsibility as Christians to do everything in our power not to sin. We must take every step then to avoid gossiping. Whatever the step, it must be taken. This is not because we want to earn our salvation, but because we are warned that it is behaviour associated with evil doers and fools! The Bible helps us understand the consequences which can be varied between all kinds of ungodliness, but more precisely dividing friends, and stirring up quarrels. Having said that, on our own, we are still fighting to stop sinning, as sometimes gossip just beats us! As James writes, no human being can tame the tongue! So we know that we fall short, and need Jesus to do the work for us, we must really on him to guiding, and trust that when we are tempted we always have a way out. 1 Cor 10:13